Tomorrow I'm going to be sitting my first ever College exam. The average person might be a bit stressed, but I can't bring myself to care any more than I do now. Which is pretty minimal. I've written a few notes, read over everything I need to do, committed a few dates to memory just in case, and I feel done.18 and a half hours to go and I've stopped studying. And I know why.
One of my college friends is moving overseas for good tomorrow morning, and i'm trying to fit in as much time with her as possible. Another of my friends is returning home until next year, and the others are stressed beyond belief, so i'm trying to be available to help them if they need me.
I've come to the solid conclusion that choosing to value the relationships in my life above anything else is the ultimate form of happiness and fulfillment. I desire nothing more. It's society that tells me to want more, but I've stopped listening. I'm studying because I need a job, not because I need to be a teacher. And i'm studying teaching because it gives me the opportunity to foster supportive relationships with children, and encourage them on their journeys.
It's not about being the best of the best, it's about providing your best to your priorities, no matter what they may be,
Tuesday 18 November 2014
Thursday 6 November 2014
10 things you need to know about tall people
I am, and always have been, above average height for my age. As a result certain questions or phrases have been sent my way a number of times, today I'm clearing this up once and for all.
1. Not all tall people play basketball/are good at high jump or long jump etc. You might be surprised to find out that a lot of tall people are incredibly uncoordinated, I can only assume because their limbs are significantly longer than the average persons'.
2. The weather "up here" is exactly the same as what you're experiencing. The weather man lied when he told you that tall people are experiencing a sunny day whilst you're stuck in the rain.
3. Contrary to what they might say, my parents never even contemplated putting bricks on my head to slow my growth. Where did this even come from?!
4. Whilst I might be happy to grab that item off the top shelf for you the first few times, it does in fact get a bit annoying when you start assuming i'll do it all the time. I have stuff to do too you know!
5. In addition to not being particularly good at sports, I am also not going to become a model when I grow up.
6. The need for extra legroom is legit! How would you like the back of an aircraft seat jammed into your knees for several hours?
7. I am not tall because of "all that pasta I ate as a child". It's called genes! I have tall parents. Tall parents usually = tall children.
8. Finding a nice dress to wear to your brothers wedding in the middle of summer is ridiculously difficult unless you want to show off most of your butt. Similarly, If you enjoy wearing one-piece swimmers in summer, good luck finding one that doesn't give you significant camel-toe or show off way too much boob.
9. If you leave the shower head in the lowest possible position after you shower, I will likely greet it with my face if i'm the next to use it.
10. No, I am not going to take off my high heels. Just because you're insecure about your height does not mean that I have to frolic about in flat shoes to make you feel better.
I leave you with one final comment: I know it's new information to you, but I am in fact aware that I'm tall. No need to tell me again.
Jamie
1. Not all tall people play basketball/are good at high jump or long jump etc. You might be surprised to find out that a lot of tall people are incredibly uncoordinated, I can only assume because their limbs are significantly longer than the average persons'.
2. The weather "up here" is exactly the same as what you're experiencing. The weather man lied when he told you that tall people are experiencing a sunny day whilst you're stuck in the rain.
3. Contrary to what they might say, my parents never even contemplated putting bricks on my head to slow my growth. Where did this even come from?!
4. Whilst I might be happy to grab that item off the top shelf for you the first few times, it does in fact get a bit annoying when you start assuming i'll do it all the time. I have stuff to do too you know!
5. In addition to not being particularly good at sports, I am also not going to become a model when I grow up.
6. The need for extra legroom is legit! How would you like the back of an aircraft seat jammed into your knees for several hours?
7. I am not tall because of "all that pasta I ate as a child". It's called genes! I have tall parents. Tall parents usually = tall children.
8. Finding a nice dress to wear to your brothers wedding in the middle of summer is ridiculously difficult unless you want to show off most of your butt. Similarly, If you enjoy wearing one-piece swimmers in summer, good luck finding one that doesn't give you significant camel-toe or show off way too much boob.
9. If you leave the shower head in the lowest possible position after you shower, I will likely greet it with my face if i'm the next to use it.
10. No, I am not going to take off my high heels. Just because you're insecure about your height does not mean that I have to frolic about in flat shoes to make you feel better.
I leave you with one final comment: I know it's new information to you, but I am in fact aware that I'm tall. No need to tell me again.
Jamie
Friday 17 October 2014
October Seventeenth
One day, when I grow up, I’m going to die.
Unfortunately for you, you’re going to do the same thing. So
will everyone you know, and everyone they know. You see, that continued
overwhelming pressure to be something when you “grow up” really isn’t going to
matter in the grand scheme of things. At the end of the day, we’re all going to
the same place; back to the ground.
So why are we all so stressed about it?
One of the first things children are taught, or believe in
their young years is to want to become something. And if they haven’t figured
out at least a silly answer to that question at age 5, look out! My argument
is: if they don’t have an answer to that at age 50, that’s completely okay.
Don’t misunderstand me, having goals for yourself and future
aspirations are important. Please, do have those. But in a world where hundreds
of new jobs and careers are created every year, how can you reasonably expect
everyone to know how they want to earn their money for the rest of their lives?
Think about those children again. Why does Jimmy want to be
a fireman? Because he watches Fireman Sam on TV every afternoon, saving little old
ladies cats’ and putting out fires left right and centre, with zero losses or repercussions.
100% hero. Why does Lisa want to be a vet? Because she loooovess horses and
wants to spend all day brushing their hair and healing them of their minor
ailments. Would Lisa still want to be a vet if she knew she couldn’t save the
lives of all of the horses she tended to?
I think about my later years of high school, and distinctively
remember being sat down to talk about my future at age 16. How is that okay? I
was still a child. I was still learning about who I was on a basic level. And
here you are trying to pressure me into making a 5-10 year plan concerning who
and what I’m going to be for the rest of my life!
There is too much expectation, and too many options.
Sometimes I think it would be easier if someone said to me “You need to go be a
nurse.” And that would be my career. But then I remember how I pass out at the
sight of needles, struggle to show initiative under stress, and essentially run
on feelings. So nursing would be an incredibly draining and inappropriate fit
for me.
I’m all for responsibility and making smart, logical
decisions about my future, but that doesn’t always mean going to university and
paying tens of thousands of dollars to become something that makes you
miserable every day of your life. For me, responsibility means being available
for my family; taking care of those who need love, support, and friendship; nurturing
people who need direction; picking up after yourself. It doesn’t necessarily
mean a high paying job.
I don’t want to find something that just fits me, or pays
the bills while I sort myself out. I want to find something that IS me.
Something that wholeheartedly accepts that I’m a sensitive soul and doesn’t
drain me in that regard; that one day allows for my desire to be a stay at home
mama; that appreciates my creativity and imagination and knows that I absolutely
have to have a way of nurturing and releasing that; and above all, accepts that
Jesus Christ is my saviour, whom I want to honour in all that I strive for and
accomplish.
So, humanity, take your societal pressures and keep them to yourself. I’m
21 years old, and when I grow up, I’m going to die. So please, just let me be
me until then. I promise that you will benefit from it too if you just let me.
Monday 13 October 2014
October Thirteenth
A collection of thoughts I've had at various points during the day....
1. I'm starting to wonder if living on the 4th floor of my college dormitory is keeping the muscle memory in my legs alive.
2. Should I be concerned that my hairspray is effective at killing spiders? Or just grateful that the spiders are dead.
3. Will I ever appreciate sleep? Or nap time?
4. The collection of used post it notes on my wardrobe are probably going to stay there until I move out at the end of the year. I don't even feel bad.
5. It is impossible to shoot Julius Caesar in the face, no matter how badly you want to. Someone else got there well before you.
6. Has the crackling over the PA system always happened during storms, and I just haven't noticed?
7. Chocolate is probably the most important source in all my assignments. True story.
8. Too scared to shower today because I've been warned of a fire drill occurring at some point, and it still hasn't happened. The absolute last place I'd want to be caught in a fire drill.
9. I should really do my taxes.
10. Sleep and watching YoutTube videos, are not interchangeable. Shocking, I know.
1. I'm starting to wonder if living on the 4th floor of my college dormitory is keeping the muscle memory in my legs alive.
2. Should I be concerned that my hairspray is effective at killing spiders? Or just grateful that the spiders are dead.
3. Will I ever appreciate sleep? Or nap time?
4. The collection of used post it notes on my wardrobe are probably going to stay there until I move out at the end of the year. I don't even feel bad.
5. It is impossible to shoot Julius Caesar in the face, no matter how badly you want to. Someone else got there well before you.
6. Has the crackling over the PA system always happened during storms, and I just haven't noticed?
7. Chocolate is probably the most important source in all my assignments. True story.
8. Too scared to shower today because I've been warned of a fire drill occurring at some point, and it still hasn't happened. The absolute last place I'd want to be caught in a fire drill.
9. I should really do my taxes.
10. Sleep and watching YoutTube videos, are not interchangeable. Shocking, I know.
Thursday 9 October 2014
October Ninth
Dear future Jamie,
Have you ever wondered just how many things it takes to make up a single person.? Just one? When you look at someone on the outside you can only know so much about them, and even then most of that is based on assumption that is inevitably incorrect a lot of the time.
Today I found out that one of my beautiful friends is expecting her first child. A tiny new life just beginning, with so much hope, so much to look forward to and become. Very soon people are going to look at her and see the word "Mother", and I find that pretty incredible. Was that always a part of her? Or does she just become that when she has a child in her arms? And it's really interesting how that word is going to define her for a long time.
Well, that got me wondering how I would define myself, and truthfully I don't know how. So instead I came up with 50 random facts that make up who I am to this point. It will be interesting to see if any of them change in the future.
1 I am currently 21 years old
2 I have a half-sister, step-sister, and two step-brothers, but no full blood siblings
3 I have two cats, both ragdolls and I am officially sold for life on this breed of cat
4 I have lived in two states of Australia
5 I played the piano for approximately 11 years, but I’ve hardly touched one since I was 14
6 I am a Christian
7 I grew up on the coast and love the beach, despite never actually having the desire to swim in the ocean
8 I’m one of those pasty people whose skin doesn’t know the meaning of the word “tan”, but it sure knows what “burnt” means
9 I had regular nose-bleeds from the age of about 2 until my mid-late teens. I still get them occasionally when the seasons change
10 My best friend is also my cousin, she lives about 10 hours away
11 I’ve been involved in two wedding parties
12 My favourite movie, Back to the Beach, isn’t very well known, to the point that I actually started to cry when I met another person who had seen it
13 If you have at any point written me a note, given me a card, or drawn me a picture, chances are I still have it, and it’s probably on my wall at college or on my wall at mums
14 I made my year 10 and year 12 formal dresses
15 I love to read, and have come to the conclusion that money spent on a book is never wasted. Subsequently, I have a lot of books
16 If I absolutely had to give up a sense, I would (reluctantly) give up hearing, because it’s the only sense that doesn’t contribute to my enjoyment of food
17 If you make me choose between salted caramel or peanut butter and chocolate, you will either be waiting a very long time for my response, or I will cry
18 I have had two surgeries, fractured my wrist, been admitted to emergency for suspected meningococcal, and had a nose-bleed so bad my mother called an ambulance
19 Once I had a nose-bleed that came out my tear-ducts as well as out my nose
20 I really can’t wait to be a mum
21 I’m good at, and love to cook
22 I am unnaturally obsessed with Doctor Who and Harry Potter. I own merchandise associated with both
23 I was a Disney deprived child, it took me years to catch up to everyone else, now I am a massive fan
24 If I could only be subscribed to one YouTube channel it would be the Shaytards
25 Baked beans make me gag
26 There are only 6 people/bands I would pay to see live: Jamie Cullum, The Civil Wars, James Taylor, My Fair Fiend, Max Milner, The 1975
27 I’ve had a short story published in an online magazine
28 I love to sing
29 I find nursing and medicine really interesting, but as soon as there’s a needle, I’m out
30 Rogue is my favourite of the X-Men
31 I have an incredible amount of respect for David Tennant as an actor, but I don’t think I could meet him without causing myself a significant amount of embarrassment
32 I like to take photos
33 Someday I’d like to get a dog. Preferably something big, like a German Shepherd
34 I’d really like to learn Swedish
35 I’ve only left Australia once, to go to New Zealand at the age of 2
36 I am the second youngest cousin on both sides of the family
37 If it was appropriate to wear gym clothes all the time, I totally would
38 I have worked at three different universities
39 My dream career would be to be a writer
40 Poppies are my favourite flower
41 My favourite time of year is Christmas, I go all out in every possible way
42 I have a journal that I’ve been writing in sporadically since I was 13
43 I am an android and PC user
44 I’m weirdly attracted to sounds that are so loud you can feel them eg. Fireworks, Aeroplane engines
45 I have an unnaturally large collection of tea and nail polish, though I hardly use either
46 My favourite scent is either Lemon or Lemongrass
47 Autumn is my favourite season
48 I really like exploring new places
49 Nothing will ever plague me like how terribly wrong I got all of Sting’s lyrics until my mid-teens
50 My favourite fruit is probably Banana
Have you ever wondered just how many things it takes to make up a single person.? Just one? When you look at someone on the outside you can only know so much about them, and even then most of that is based on assumption that is inevitably incorrect a lot of the time.
Today I found out that one of my beautiful friends is expecting her first child. A tiny new life just beginning, with so much hope, so much to look forward to and become. Very soon people are going to look at her and see the word "Mother", and I find that pretty incredible. Was that always a part of her? Or does she just become that when she has a child in her arms? And it's really interesting how that word is going to define her for a long time.
Well, that got me wondering how I would define myself, and truthfully I don't know how. So instead I came up with 50 random facts that make up who I am to this point. It will be interesting to see if any of them change in the future.
1 I am currently 21 years old
2 I have a half-sister, step-sister, and two step-brothers, but no full blood siblings
3 I have two cats, both ragdolls and I am officially sold for life on this breed of cat
4 I have lived in two states of Australia
5 I played the piano for approximately 11 years, but I’ve hardly touched one since I was 14
6 I am a Christian
7 I grew up on the coast and love the beach, despite never actually having the desire to swim in the ocean
8 I’m one of those pasty people whose skin doesn’t know the meaning of the word “tan”, but it sure knows what “burnt” means
9 I had regular nose-bleeds from the age of about 2 until my mid-late teens. I still get them occasionally when the seasons change
10 My best friend is also my cousin, she lives about 10 hours away
11 I’ve been involved in two wedding parties
12 My favourite movie, Back to the Beach, isn’t very well known, to the point that I actually started to cry when I met another person who had seen it
13 If you have at any point written me a note, given me a card, or drawn me a picture, chances are I still have it, and it’s probably on my wall at college or on my wall at mums
14 I made my year 10 and year 12 formal dresses
15 I love to read, and have come to the conclusion that money spent on a book is never wasted. Subsequently, I have a lot of books
16 If I absolutely had to give up a sense, I would (reluctantly) give up hearing, because it’s the only sense that doesn’t contribute to my enjoyment of food
17 If you make me choose between salted caramel or peanut butter and chocolate, you will either be waiting a very long time for my response, or I will cry
18 I have had two surgeries, fractured my wrist, been admitted to emergency for suspected meningococcal, and had a nose-bleed so bad my mother called an ambulance
19 Once I had a nose-bleed that came out my tear-ducts as well as out my nose
20 I really can’t wait to be a mum
21 I’m good at, and love to cook
22 I am unnaturally obsessed with Doctor Who and Harry Potter. I own merchandise associated with both
23 I was a Disney deprived child, it took me years to catch up to everyone else, now I am a massive fan
24 If I could only be subscribed to one YouTube channel it would be the Shaytards
25 Baked beans make me gag
26 There are only 6 people/bands I would pay to see live: Jamie Cullum, The Civil Wars, James Taylor, My Fair Fiend, Max Milner, The 1975
27 I’ve had a short story published in an online magazine
28 I love to sing
29 I find nursing and medicine really interesting, but as soon as there’s a needle, I’m out
30 Rogue is my favourite of the X-Men
31 I have an incredible amount of respect for David Tennant as an actor, but I don’t think I could meet him without causing myself a significant amount of embarrassment
32 I like to take photos
33 Someday I’d like to get a dog. Preferably something big, like a German Shepherd
34 I’d really like to learn Swedish
35 I’ve only left Australia once, to go to New Zealand at the age of 2
36 I am the second youngest cousin on both sides of the family
37 If it was appropriate to wear gym clothes all the time, I totally would
38 I have worked at three different universities
39 My dream career would be to be a writer
40 Poppies are my favourite flower
41 My favourite time of year is Christmas, I go all out in every possible way
42 I have a journal that I’ve been writing in sporadically since I was 13
43 I am an android and PC user
44 I’m weirdly attracted to sounds that are so loud you can feel them eg. Fireworks, Aeroplane engines
45 I have an unnaturally large collection of tea and nail polish, though I hardly use either
46 My favourite scent is either Lemon or Lemongrass
47 Autumn is my favourite season
48 I really like exploring new places
49 Nothing will ever plague me like how terribly wrong I got all of Sting’s lyrics until my mid-teens
50 My favourite fruit is probably Banana
Wednesday 8 October 2014
October Eighth
Dear future Jamie,
The things I left unsaid. It's incredible how many of these things there actually are. How many people i'm still desperately holding on to who are long gone. They're in my past, my present, and unfortunately most definitely in my future. I consider myself very much a "wears her heart on her sleeve" kind of girl, and thats good, i'm glad i'm like that. Sadly, sometimes I let myself down.
You see, people do come and go from life, it's perfectly normal. The hard part of that is when they've gone and you suddenly realise you had so much more to say to them. So many words that you choked on, that you fought back for fear of looking like a fool, so many that you wish you could erase with a simple "I'm sorry.". But it doesn't work like that. You can't go back and try again, you can't hit backspace and pretend that those words never came to be.
Here I sit, typing these words whilst watching small chocolate cakes slowly rise in a warm oven, witnessing the soft glow gently emitting from the beginnings of a lunar eclipse, and i'm suddenly aware that this world is so much bigger than me. So much more important, with plans far beyond anything I can see. I am challenged because I finally know that I have to let go. Let go of all those words, those moments etched in my brain where I wish I'd made a different choice, and just try harder next time.
Denial is an interesting, somewhat magical thing until you realise it's there. That's when it becomes something entirely different. I think tomorrow, I might try acceptance.
The things I left unsaid. It's incredible how many of these things there actually are. How many people i'm still desperately holding on to who are long gone. They're in my past, my present, and unfortunately most definitely in my future. I consider myself very much a "wears her heart on her sleeve" kind of girl, and thats good, i'm glad i'm like that. Sadly, sometimes I let myself down.
You see, people do come and go from life, it's perfectly normal. The hard part of that is when they've gone and you suddenly realise you had so much more to say to them. So many words that you choked on, that you fought back for fear of looking like a fool, so many that you wish you could erase with a simple "I'm sorry.". But it doesn't work like that. You can't go back and try again, you can't hit backspace and pretend that those words never came to be.
Here I sit, typing these words whilst watching small chocolate cakes slowly rise in a warm oven, witnessing the soft glow gently emitting from the beginnings of a lunar eclipse, and i'm suddenly aware that this world is so much bigger than me. So much more important, with plans far beyond anything I can see. I am challenged because I finally know that I have to let go. Let go of all those words, those moments etched in my brain where I wish I'd made a different choice, and just try harder next time.
Denial is an interesting, somewhat magical thing until you realise it's there. That's when it becomes something entirely different. I think tomorrow, I might try acceptance.
Tuesday 7 October 2014
October Seventh
Dear future Jamie,
Waking up and hitting the
snooze button more than 3 times is never a good sign. All productivity gone out
the window before you’ve even properly opened your eyes.
When you finally did get out of bed, you were already annoyed
with the world. But why? It has done nothing wrong. Nothing to hurt you,
nothing to delay you. That was your hand hitting the snooze button, your brain convinced that you could get away with ten more minutes, and another, and
another. No.
You see, that withdrawn, bored expression you wore on your
face as you oh-so-casually ate your cereal this morning was looking straight at
your mother. She was thrilled to have you there, just for your company. Even if
you did look like you’d had your toes deliberately run over by a shopping
trolley.
That solitude you were so desperate for really should have
been left at home. There were beautiful people desperately happy to see you
again. That was completely obvious by their excited embraces.
Future Jamie, take note, tomorrow is a new day, a new
chance. Perhaps you should hit snooze one less time. Maybe you could even work
up a smile before you decide to share your breakfast with animosity. Tomorrow,
Jamie, you have the opportunity to be brilliant. Take it, and I promise it will
be different.
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